I died...and I came back?

So apparently, the last thing I remember was taking all my explosives and blowing up a gargoyle for the party. Which was then followed by the weirdest psychedelic dream of other dimensions and succubi. When I opened my eyes, I was lying in the middle of crater I made, completely singed and internally bleeding, no biggie. The next few hours flew in a blur, but I woke up back in Grug and Val’s farmhouse. I tried to say something about the dwarf looking really gaudy and awful, but Val gave me some soothing tea that promptly put me to sleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling pretty good, with my organs in place, bleeding less, and skin less crispy. Eric had been examining the artifact and said that without further reference, he couldn’t decipher it. He needed very specific tools, tools which can be found only at one place, Gnome Mountain.

We made our goodbyes and thanked Grug and Val for her hospitality and made our way back to the trading post through the mountains. First night was uneventful, on the second night, a pack of wolves decided we were a tasty night snack, but we showed them otherwise. I decided to forgo my usual method of throwing sulfuric delights at the enemy and decided to do the next best thing, I shoved a bomb into the open mouth of a wolf and hopped away. The radius of the gore spread was impressive (I can’t believe that actually worked, whoohoohoo!).

Other than that, we made the rest of the trip through the mountains without anymore trouble and found ourselves on plains. As we were passing through, we found a farmhouse to spend the night in and a farmer to chat up for information. In exchange for shelter for the night, we agreed to do some chores. I’m making omelettes in the morning.

Fast forward a day or two and we were at an inn for the night; as everyone dispersed to their rooms, Catlynn noticed that Grimr was looking at Belborin strangely and mentioned it to me. I needed to get to the bottom of this, so I went to go talk to to Grimr at Catlynn’s suggestion.

Apparently it was a bad timing for Grimr because he was taking a bath as I busted through the door. He was rightly outraged as he tried to stumble out of the tub, so I thought he needed so cheering up first before starting a heavy conversation. Everyone loves a bit of sparking and explosions, so I threw in a small handful of elemental sodium. Grimr told me that he detected an aura of evil surrounding Belborin and thinks that he is possessed by a demon, which made sense since Belborin threatened to kill Eric if they both shared a room together.

After telling Catlynn of my findings, I approached Belborin to see if he really was possessed or his homicidal internal voice was just getting louder. As I talked to him, Belborin retreated into a dark corner of his room and disappeared from site. Thinking that he was just hiding from the conversation, I walked to the corner and tried to poke him to get him out of the cloak if he was.

Bad idea, he mind blasted me with some the most disturbing images possible, I never knew it was possible to do that with a ginger cookie and a jar of oil. After great effort of will power fighting the bad images with food, I emerged from my mindscape and immediately alerted Grimr and Rolim the danger that Belborin now represented.

To the temple we went to find ourselves a priest that specialized in demon extermination which they told us was out of their league. Guess it fell to us then to defeat our possessed companion. With some holy water from the temple, I turned my bombs into three holy hand grenades.

Catlynn and her big house cat rounded up the villagers to the temple for safety and we set about lighting torches everywhere to not give the shadow demon a place to hide and attack from. As we finished up lighting up the town, Belborin emerged from the inn’s basement ready to do battle.

Grimr launched towards Belborin, leaping 30 ft into the air, into a domain that a dwarf had no business in, striking at him with his divine sword. Belborin unleashed a jet of magical fire at him that missed by scant inches, but lit a nearby house on fire. Rolim responded in kind with his holy arrows, but like Belborin, missed by mere inches, and unlike me did not hit our dwarf fighter with his missed shot.

Damn’d dwarf, I’m a half-ling, I can’t run at fast as he can leap so while he got the first stab in, I was running towards them. Ten feet from the fight, I took out the first grenade and threw it. I missed, but some of the holy water splashed onto the demon and he took off into an alleyway, jetting fire onto the ground. Grimr with his boots leaped over the fire and engaged in close quarter combat once more. I’m not sure if Rolim’s second arrow hit as I took off running again, only to be stopped by that searing flame, but I was close enough. My luck with throwing hasn’t been all that good, so there was a real danger that it might hit my dwarf companion, but the demon needed to be defeated.

My second grenade soared through the air and demon-Belborin was kind enough to catch it with his face. Unfortunately, Grimr was in the blast radius as well and took some of the concussive damage from the explosion, but none from the holy water as he was a divine champion.

With that last shot, Belborin fell unconscious and the demon took over his body, emerging with his black shadow wings in full display. With a parting roar of how he was darkness, death, and unable to be defeated, he spread his wings and took off into the night.

Dungeon Crawler

When morning came, Skip offered to lead us down the mountain and point us in the right direction of the ruins. His mother was most generous in giving us supplies and a future place to recover. Good lass that one.

We headed in the direction of the Northern Ruins, studiously avoiding all the ogre camps nearby. The day passed by and we came across some ogre tracks and eventually came to a valley, Schizo made a boob joke.

As we proceeded into the valley (of death), we saw a structure in the middle of it all. Complete with a belltower, small structure of stone walls, and a figure on top. As we got closer, we realized it was a statue of a gargoyle and approaching the front door, it turned out to not be a statue.

The dwarf tried to say hi…and got clawed at for his troubles, looks kinda painful, but he managed to grease the damned thing with oil. I realize my luck with throwing hasn’t been the best, but he was 10 ft away. I yelled at the dwarf, “Fire in the hole, get down!” and threw a bomb.

I missed, again. At least no one was hurt.

Belborin attacked and firejetted that gargoyle’s oily ass. Lovely. We now have a flying fiery gargoyle. The gargoyle then went after the cat and took a chunk out of its hide. Then it retreated off into the distance, a fireball in the sky.

We approach the metal door and find it locked. Lexi tries to lock pick it and fails. Seeing that no one else was trying, I offer to blow it open with one of my TNT’s from a while back, but no one seems to be like that idea (again). Off in the distance, we hear a hiss, like fire being extinguished followed by whooshing of air, like flapping of wings. Lexi lock picks it again and this time succeeds, but the door is stuck and now the gargoyle is coming over the treeline.

Grimr takes it into his hand to distract the gargoyle with faces up from the belltower (when did he get up there?) while Belborin magic missiles it. He hits it now the gargoyle is pissed. The ranger bum rushes the door, bashes it open, and everyone runs inside. Catlynn gathers all the animals inside as well.

Belborin is the last inside, but he forgot to close the door. The gargoyle takes this as an opportunity for a last parting shot and claws Schizo in the back. Looked pretty serious because he passed out shortly afterwards. He’s twitching a bit, but alive. I slam the door in its face, lock it, and breathe a sigh of relief.

As we take stock of our surroundings, there are stairways heading down in the middle of the room. It’s leads into the dark, so it’s a temptation for us. We head downwards into the deep darkness and start exploring. A fork in the corridors appear, Heading left, we also came another door that Lexi needed to lock pick open. It creaked open and revealed a large dark room littered with cobwebs and broken furniture. The back wall appears to be covered in green slime, great.

We start fighting a giant green blob of slime, and Grimr and Belborin took it by surprise by setting it on fire. Not much to do at this point for me, so I just edge close and admire the green glowy fire. Grimir tries to throw an axe, but he trips over his own feet and flat foots himself, missing completely, hitting a wall. This time, my party was encouraging use of my bombs, so it took me two, but it died with a great green sploosh. Damn thing tried to eat me.

Two and a Half Ogres

After the encounter with the Orcs, we went back on our merry way towards the temple. Eric was quite talkative, “This is fascinating.” He holds out an artifact with unknown runes etched into it. Belborin discreetly checked it for magic; nonmagical in nature. Eric explains that he was given it by an adventurer from the South Mountains in an old ruin. He believed that it has a connection to the Chalice, hence our travel to the North Mountains. Other than that tidbit, Eric has no idea where the temple the chalice is. Traveling south to get to the northern temple.

During this exposition, I was basically going deaf of ear and took out one of my bombs to polish. The others looked at me funny and the dwarf said to do my polishing in private. What?

As we continued out, the path slowly became less of a road and more of a deer path. Rolim took out his bow and he seemed a bit more tense. The others around me prepared their weapons. Suddenly a goat ran across our path and Belborin, with his crossbow out, shot at it out of reflex. He missed and Grimir made some lame joke about killing Rolim’s kindred spirit, the dwarf laughed at his own joke, but no one else.

But they were right at the time, it was much too quiet for a forest.

Dusk was approaching and camp was made in a overhang on the side of the mountain. It showed signs of previous occupation and lots of grim names were given to our temporary abode. The horses were then tied up inside and we settled down for the night. Double man shifts were in order and I took first watch.

Though the day was quiet, night time was more boisterous and uneventful. When morning came, there was smoke over the trees.

I was all for scouting the smoke and seeing who it was, but the only stealthy member of our party was not keen on the idea. Ranger Rolim suggested leaving an explosive present behind us, but Schizo and the Dwarf were against the idea. I suggested smoke bombs instead, but to no avail.

On the fourth day, we found an ogre. With a human skull necklace with a large, very large club. Did I mention he was triple my height? And he had friends. He took me by surprise considering how tall he was, but the Rolim and Belborin were the first to react.

Rolim hit him, but the ogre didn’t seem fazed by it. Dwarf and Schizo both missed, more so Schizo since he tried a magic missile. Lisa did a fair bit of damage. When I ran up to attack, I had a crazy idea to run behind the ogre and give him an emergency explosive prostate exam. Lucky me when I ran towards him, he dropped his club. Unlucky me, I tripped over the club, but I ended up sliding underneath his legs. The cat made the final blow and lucky me again, I did not end up with a face full of testicles when the ogre died.

Now that the ogre was dead, we had to deal with his buddy in the bush. Belborin didn’t even let it come out of the bush before unleashing a jet of flame towards the ogre. He roared angrily and started circumventing the fire before he threw a javelin at me. It whizzed over my head and stuck itself somewhere behind me. I responded back with a rare successful toss of my bomb and promptly set it on fire. It looked badly hurt.

After the cat bit it, Belborin’s acid missile, and Rolim’s arrow, the ogre fell dead. Then the bushes all around us started shaking, so we jumped on our mounts, and booked it. In front of us, a cloak covered shape came out of the surroundings and gestured us towards its way. Seeing no other option at the time, we headed toward his direction, ran with him to his camp, to safety.

He took off his cloak and revealed himself to be a half-ogre half-human hybrid, oddly named Skip. When he spoke, his Common was little accented, “What the hell are you thinking running towards the ogre camp?”

Apparently, another mile in that direction, we would have ran straight into the camp of the main ogre body and would’ve gotten dismembered life and limb. He offered us shelter for the night after a bout of confusion of us arguing. Eric is also suitably confused throughout this and at this point, just tagging along. Probably wishing he didn’t leave the safety of the Gnome Mountain.

Skip led us to his abode where we met his parents. Val the mother greeted us warmly. I talked with her and explained the gist of what our quest was to her. She didn’t really know what the Chalice of Mother was, but said that her husband might know. He wasn’t home at the time, so while we waited, she led us out to the barn where we would stay for the night.

After settling in, we helped her prepare a meal for the night. Apparently, everyone thinks I have a bomb for everything, even cutting vegetables. Rolim came back inside during this and mentioned that Val’s husband was home. Grug was his name and when he came inside, he just grunted at each of us before turning to his son, “What have I told you about bringing home strays?” So Skip explains how he couldn’t just leave us to die to the camp of ogres, so he saved us.

We asked Grug the same thing we asked Val and he also said that he has never heard of the Chalice of the Mother, but he is aware of several ruins that may contain them. Rolim asks if he has seen ruins with runes similar to the disc that Belborin has and Grug recalls of one ruin like that. While he cannot lead us to it, Grug draws us a map of the surrounding area, along with the ogre tribes to avoid.

We all rest up for the night and Rolim recovers from his wounds.

A Day at the Market
Tea-bagged by a Boar

So we come to the town of Thorn’s Watch and as we approach the entrance, the gate guards stop Captain Ellen for license and registration. We pass through and the captain gives the dwarf our payment for services rendered. Hopefully we all get our fair share of the spoils, 65 gold is quite a bit and the muttering about it all going to the party fund is disconcerting.

We walk east to find an inn and come across The Hydra and Squirrel. Their name sounds good and their food looks even better, though it is of some concern as fire drakes have infested the inn a bit. A common room was rented and we shrugged off our gear and headed to the market.

The others don’t want me to see the alchemist again (I think they are afraid advanced science), so I go see the stables for a new saddlebag for Fritz and some ale to replace my stock. There goes my pay from the job.

As I browsed around, I tried to buy the finest wine they had, but I didn’t have enough after the saddlebags, damned donkey. But I bought two small firkins of ale for the trip. Interestingly enough as I was buying, some tall bastard was staring at me, he looked familiar but a lot of people fade from my memory, some I owe money too. I ask him, “Can I help you?”

He replies back, “Don’t you remember me?”

“Do I owe you money?”

He laughed, “It’s Eric, from Gnome Mountain!”

Oh yea…that guy, weird guy. We catch up and apparently he has been doing some interesting research out here and wanted to tell me all about it. We set a time and place, Cat’s Alehouse, outside the market.

When we meet, Eric starts telling me about this ancient artifact, called the Chalice of the Mother. Apparently those long dusty hours Eric spent in the dark corner of the mountain was done to research about this chalice, which imbues great power, classic. The artifact will be found in the temple dedicated to the Mother. As in THE mother of ALL the gods. He discovered that the chalice was done in ancient Common and only Eric can read it. But he is looking for a group of “expedition-ers” to find it.

I bring Eric back to the inn to speak to the rest of the party, I’m kinda dubious as to his success of getting the party to agree, but as soon as he says 200 gp apiece and extra, I look up. The rest of the party agrees in no time and we set out in the morning.

We travel for a day and head south on Malakor Road and made camp by the main road, but out of side. During the last watch, a freaking boar crashes into our camp and wakes everyone up. We killed the damn thing but as it was dying, I tripped and landed on the floor and the stupid beast landed behind me and it’s damn’d testicles landed on my head, not my best morning.

Damn thing made for some delicious bacon, but my aspiring team decided to save me the ballsacks. But hey, they are big enough to store some explosives in it. Some Thorn’s Watchmen came upon us and took some boar with them.

A week passed by and we finally found the the pass that led into the mountains. I think the dwarf has a half-chubby and the Schizo is complaining that his butt hurts, told him to suck it up buttercup.

Two further days of traveling and we encounter a band of orcs waiting in ambush, poorly. The dwarf distracts them with his keen intellect and promptly stabs one in the face. Girl gnome accidentally hits her cat and the orc also hits the tiger as well. The cat is not pleased and promptly eviscerates the poor bastard. Schizo really shined and scorched three of them, saving us the effort and providing roasted orc. I didn’t see how the last one died, but I assume it was grisly.

Fight Night

It was the middle of the night when we finished fighting with only one casualty, sucks for the Captain since she lost a guard. When she asked us to bury her guard, I immediately volunteered since I had a quick way of making a grave.

The others were not so inclined. So the gnome’s big house cat dug the grave, party poopers. But on the other hand, Schizo Bard and I burned the hobgoblin corpses.

Next morning comes, it’s actually sunny and warm for once. Perfect for making more bombs. We go on our way and it so far it’s uneventful. The gnome has a mouse on a stick teasing her tabby.

We stop for the day and the ranger can apparently climb trees like a hyperactive squirrel and nest like one too, haven’t seen him since we stopped. Galina starts to make food for us, but out of no where wild dogs circle the camp and start barking at us, probably hungry. The druid starts feeding them all the rat jerky we have and tries to cuddle them. Welp, there goes our rat jerky.

Grimr what-his-face stopped grooming long enough to talk with Captain Ella to ask about the town coming up. Apparently it’s very touristy, but hey there is a mage shop, maybe I can sell this jar of blood. Though he needs to cut the dramatics and just give us the info, flapping arms non-withstanding.

We break camp and continue on our way until we come across a fallen tree across the road. Immediately the ranger looks to the sides while everyone is tensing up. I’m not the most observant half-ling, but people pulling weapons means I should pull out some bombs. But that tree, it is why that dwarf alchemist sold me these quarter sticks of dynamite. I wonder how much I would have to use….

Oh right, fighting. The gnome and her tabby terribly maims the poor sap coming at us, he’s ripped up pretty good. So forgoing my usual rules of engagement, I decided to sock him at head-level, my head-level. To my surprise he keels over in death, the druid must have done more damage than I thought. I cover up my surprise by turning the gnome and telling her, “That’s how you do it.”

By the time we reach the front, most of the attack force is dead, but Bardie is going after their leader, he doesn’t look controlled, his run is very still and calm, not someone who just got off battle high. Making some gestures, he launches a magic missile at the slaver and knocks him unconscious. Bardie reaches the knocked out man and draws his longsword in one motion. In one quick grab, he grasps a fistful of hair, exposing naked neck and slits the slaver’s throat.

I recognize the bastard! Everyone around is kind of shocked, I just start clapping. Heh.

We move the log and continue until dark. A new campsite is set up when we stop and the ranger goes to his perch. I climb on top a caravan and take second watch.

So for my watch, I’m still on top of the caravan when the earth just erupts around the caravan, immediately the camp yells at me, asking what did I do now. It’s a bloody earth elemental. One of the small ones, but an elemental nonetheless. This would be a good time to test one of those quarter sticks.

I miss and 15 gold into the waste ditch, but I blew a nice crater in the ground. The dwarf runs up to it all “suave” and promptly gets slammed by a 36 kg sack of rocks. Looked like it hurt a lot. The gnome and the tabby attack and the elemental explodes.

After that little event, we made it to our destination without incident, though I have heard rumors that I might not get paid my share due to “party” funds. It better be just that, a rumor…

The Expected Journey

We’re off to find the trading post up high in the mountains, it’s a two day trip which unfortunately passes without incident, though my jar of goblin blood is starting to coagulate, this is very good.

By the time we reach the trading outpost, it’s nearly dusk and we head off to town tavern, Crimson Cask, for drinks and baths. Apparently there is an alchemist shop in town, gotta go see him, need some new digs.

Bought myself a snazzy Explorer’s Outfit, lots of pockets for many things. Haggled the shopkeeper down to 8 gp from 10 gp. Schizo the Cook also needs things and I’m gonna try to bargain for his sake before his “muse” spends all our money.

Mr. Mustache got us a job guarding a caravan, but we aren’t leaving for three days. I paid a visit to the local alchemist to talk more about explosives.

A fellow alchemist, the dwarf running the shop was much enthused that I was inquiring about more explosives. We had a very fruitful conversation in which I left with 45 less gold, three more “stump-removers”, and the dwarf’s personal formula which doubled the explosiveness of my bombs. They are just as powerful as the “stump-removers” now. The alchemist’s name was Iorifm and I promised to keep in contact.

The day to leave has arrived, we all gathered around the caravan and Mr. Mustache is pleased of how “suave” we look as a group. Decidedly less happy when I pulled out my stump-removers and showed everyone. In fact, all mysteriously have been keeping their distance from me.

First night into the trip and we set up camp. The wagons are set up in a circle with the fire in the middle. Mr. Mustache and the Ranger have first watch and I have 2nd watch with another guard. it was a long day, I’m tired, Fritz is tired, I fall asleep within 30 seconds of my head hitting my pack.

I felt something kicking me and I was dreaming about handling some really volatile liquid. So when I got kicked, it shifted my hand and I woke up yelling “BOOM”. Turns out, some real nobheads aka hobgoblins decided to attack us.

The hobogoblins took out two guards from the get go which didn’t bode well for us. The gnome and her big cat tried to attack a guard, but the cat blinded herself on a failed swipe. Luckily for her, the hobgoblin had equally bad luck and missed her. I was eager to test out this new formula and took out one of my bombs. In the aftermath, my group reported feeling an ominous shudder pass through them when I took out my bomb. How mysterious.
As an alchemist, I don’t exactly have the best aim, but I have the next best thing, splash damage. The hobgoblin swiftly died under mine and the guard’s combined assault.

I went to go assist the ranger and the quiet one with their hobgoblin, amidst protest. I threw another one of my concoctions and the hobgoblin promptly disappeared in a wall of fire.

By the time the second hobgoblin I was helping with died, the fight was done. Unfortunately we lost one of Ellyn’s caravan guards.

It was a good night filled with blood and explosion.

Into the Cave
with Roasted Rats and Goblins

So we found this cave to get out of the rain, didn’t see why we couldn’t just continue traveling. Turns out, we weren’t the only ones here. There were some stinking goblins roasting some rats around the fire and our rushed entrance attracted their ire.

Don’t know why we couldn’t share the cave, but they didn’t want to otherwise. After the last time we fought, they wanted me up front where I can’t accidentally hit them. That wasn’t my fault, my hand slipped and the moon was in my eyes.

Long story not very long, we killed them and looted their corpses. For some poor stinking goblins they were pretty loaded, tons of coppers. Roasted rat ain’t too bad.

I took 4th watch, nothing happened.

I made some more bombs from my alchemy supplies, now I’m back up to six, don’t feel naked anymore.

Morning came and it was still pissing rain, we decided to wait it out a little while longer until it stopped. I checked Fritz, he was fine, and with nothing else to do, I worked on my juggling routine, with two of my bombs. I nearly dropped one, but they didn’t need to know that. The dwarf was nearby grooming himself, I did not know neck hair can stand that straight.

Then out of the gray, a hunter or least a rabbit expert came rushing in to the cave. Her name is Glalinea and our schizo cook had to charm her to calm her down, great start. Turns out she was from a nearby town, small place apparently, but better than this dump. We burn the goblin corpses and head over to a warm tavern and booze.

We get to The Laughing Squirrel and I got some deer stew and mead, good stuff. The dwarf is flirting with the bartender and the gnome is trying to flirt with another gnome. Gonna go mess with her just because it’s funny. The others do not like my idea of a cart full of booze, sucks for them.

Galinda invited us (or specifically Cookie) over to her place for dinner, she seems rather friendly with him. She thinks I and the dwarf as strange beings. Schizo the Cookie got it into his head that it was great idea to convince her to come along on our crazy journey (where are we even going anyways?) He should magic a bed next eh heh heh.

We’re heading west in the morning.

Well Accidents DO Happen
...and sometimes they are accidents.

There is nothing better when Plan B suddenly jumps a few letter of the alphabet. All of Gnome Mountain swears by this, my old mentor Aripip, swears by it, and now I swear by it. To preface, Bardie the Schizo wanted a distraction at the that slaver’s house, so I gave him one. Sure while the smoke bombs WOULD have been effective, I didn’t have my kit and I am no mage. So the word of the day was improvisation and improvisation meant throwing a vodka fire-bomb out the window and one into the library.

Okay, maybe I didn’t throw as if I had a purpose, but rather I lit the damn thing and thought, “Now what?” Granted, dropping it outside the dining room doors may not have been the brightest, but it was enough to allow the new stock of slaves to escape. There was quite a lot of clanking, grunting, and struggling, even through the solid floor.

The library, was as I like to think of it, further security towards the impromptu escape plan. It’s a nice house, slave built or not, it was an effort worth preserving. So the more guards putting out the fire was less guards on us when we made out escape. Granted again, my formula tome and Bardie’s spellbook might have been in there, but by the time I thought about it there was a decent amount of smoke coming out, so all I had was the hope they were still with our stuff when we first got captured.

Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.


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